I am High Maintenance & Deeply Practice Consciousness. How Can This Be?

I grew up with a good family, where money was never an issue, yet at the same time, we weren’t ultra-wealthy by any means. (this is for a whole different blog post).

 However, my parents always shared their abundance with my childhood friends, taking my friend on trips with us when their family may not have been able to afford it, getting my friends dinner at nice restaurants, gave to non-profits, gave back to the community, gave SO much to those who had less yet worked their butt off.

And my parents always instilled to work hard.

Now I was an only child, and many can say I was spoiled, maybe that’s true, maybe it isn’t.

I think most of us desire to spoil our kids if we can, we love them and want to give them everything they need to fly and make their dreams come true.

Yet one thing without a shadow of a doubt everyone who knows me will tell you I am high maintenance.

Sometimes it’s absolutely hilarious and makes total sense, and sometimes people think I take it too far – (I personally just think I know what I want and I’m not afraid to ask for it). 

An ex-boyfriend of mine said this one time, as we were all trying to make plans, it was taking far too long (around 10 minutes) – I was getting annoyed, and I said here is what we are doing – DONE

One guy rolled his eyes and my ex-boyfriend went THANK GOD SHE MADE THE DECISION, someone had to or we wouldn’t be moving – thank you very much ex-boyfriend for seeing me so clearly then.

However, a lot of my life in high school I was shamed for this characteristic of mine.

Even though I was always sweet, nice, over-giving of my time, very kind, and brilliant to be there for others in need, people would pick on me when I did something perceived as high maintenance saying, “I am being ridiculous or asking for too much.”

Yet those same people shaming me wanted to take advantage of me as well, by asking for my help when they needed something, or always expecting me to pay for them.

Which I’m now learning to see much more quickly and at a greater capacity.

For so long I pretended I wasn’t high maintenance, or I wanted to over give because I felt bad that I was given a financially stable life, even though emotionally there was A LOT I went through.

I was bullied in school by a few people for basically coming from a finically stable family – it was seriously insane looking back.

 And I think this is what always made me be committed to being kind, think of others who weren’t born into families with the opportunities I had, and many times made me feel ashamed that I am high maintenance.

Now I started my journey to practice Consciousness from a very young age.

I started unconsciously playing in other worlds around age three that I can remember.

When I received cancer at age fourteen, I became highly sensitive to this other Consciousness reality.

For the past three years, I’ve really accelerated my practice as a moment-to-moment commitment with Consciousness.

& I am still high maintenance.

Arguably even more high maintenance and intense around what environments I will and will not enter into, as well as relationships that I will tolerate and easily delete out of my life.

I LOVE nice things, and I am so excited for the day all my outfits are like $5,000 outfits because of the way the fabric makes my skin FEEL.

I’m so grateful I spend $250 per month each on my nails & cleaning lady.

I spend insane amounts of money on things that make no sense to others.

I have high EXTREMELY high standards of myself, my inner circle, and my high-level clients.

Sometimes I say perceived “superficial” things because I’m an artist and I’m seeing the object in front of me as is.

I am kind and if you repeatedly cross my communicated boundary, I will become a Panther.

However, the point here is wherever you are financially or on your journey with Consciousness don’t let “them,” “society,” “the people”  make feel bad, guilty, or ashamed that:

You are high maintenance
You love nice things
You are excited for millions or billions of dollars to be in your bank account to have millions of people in your community/business that you co-create leadership roles with
That you take hours to do your make up and find the right outfit
That you don’t want to cook or clean because you can pay to have it outsourced
That you buy $1,000 crystals or jewelry because it matters for your spiritual practice and protection
You demand standards that the man plan the dinner, pay for dinner, do the manly things, and open the doors most of the time.
& that you are practicing Consciousness and understanding there’s another way to be in this life where you create, design, and become the love affair that everyone dreams about.

Remember there is nothing more powerful than a person who knows exactly what they want, who they are, and they settle for nothing less until their dreams drop into this now reality.
Repeat these affirmations:

I am spiritual and I LOVE EXPENSIVE THINGS.
I practice Consciousness and I AM ALLOWED TO DESIRE A SEXY LIFESTYLE.
I am kind, and I am allowed to say NO, give no explanations, and delete toxic relationships.
I am financially abundant, and I OWE NO ONE ANYTHING.
I am allowed to DESIRE MORE, just because period.
The deeper I surrender into Consciousness, the more rapidly my life ascends.

These are the types of writings I have in my magazine The Expanded Liberation Society launching tomorrow.

Let me know what comes up in the comments below.
I love you.
Turn your life into the greatest love affair,
Colleen Gallagher