How to Date

It’s such an interesting topic; what this means from person to person is so wildly different. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
Virtual dating, in person, dating, living together, long-term partnerships, long-distance, getting to know someone, going from stranger to significant partner.

I’ve traveled all over the world, 42 counties.
And I’ve learned quite a lot about love.
I’ve heard endless stories about what makes love feel like a fairytale and what makes it pull your heart out of your chest where your world is like a tornado.
I’ve witnessed people who experience true ecstasy in connection and people who are so bitter they end up dying.
So why do some people, no matter what, let love work and others love never seems to happen?

Well, secretly, what we all yearn for is chemistry.
The organic longing, the desire.
The instant bodily sensation that arouses when we connect with another.
The craving to be seen, desired, held, and wanted.
We feel like we are a priority for someone else as much as we want to make them a priority.
The way a woman can be penetrated with pleasure and the way a man can feel the erotic sensation of a woman.
The knowing that someone is always there.

This desire, secret yearning for organic chemistry, and connection become complicated because we place these expectations on how things ought to be instead of how they are.
We blame this current person for all our past pain, bleed onto them things that hurt us, or expectations we carry that they would have ZERO clue of knowing. Until you begin to experience life TWOgether, co-create memories, and move through conflict resolution together.

Because to date, a person is to get to know a complete stranger.
Dating even after many years is to get to know someone you love over and over again.
Relationshipping is beginning to know something about someone we know NOTHING; I mean NOTHING ABOUT.
Ironically, we instantly demand that they check all these boxes to make us feel loved and seen. That they meet us where we want them to be placed in our life. We create stories and narratives about total strangers without asking them to be included in their side of the story of made-up thoughts we have just because that’s how our past relationships were. Hence, we assume why would this be different?

When maybe, In reality, it’s YOU that’s the problem.
Maybe it’s not the gender of all the males or females are like this.
Maybe it’s you, and you’re limiting beliefs.
Maybe it’s you’re disconnection from your heart.
Maybe it’s you not speaking up and going after what you want.
Maybe it’s you obsessively expecting and demanding someone energetically to meet you, without even evaluating what is going on in their life.
Maybe it’s you not even selflessly thinking about how can I make them feel held, included, and loved so that they want to give that back to me instead of assuming they aren’t showing me love or a total stranger doesn’t care about me?

For me, I’m honest from the beginning.
I’m a foodie; I like weekly dinner dates.
I love the whole experience of getting dressed up, the food, the cuddles, the presence, and the stopping of time to just be here with you as a choice.
I like having specific weekly check-ins to see how we feel about the relationship. What can I improve on, and what am I doing well?
As well as offer feedback so we continue to grow.
Sleepovers are essential to me if we aren’t living together.
I rarely drive.
I’m emotionally high maintenance and require a lot of time and attention. I’m not available for some time; maybe, someday, the stars will align the type of relationship.
And none of these things are wrong or bad.

However, I must be able to COMMUNICATE this from DESIRE INSTEAD OF DEMAND.
I’m able to not place blame that someone is doing something wrong if they don’t know these are things that are important to me, so I feel loved.
And I have to desire to know what makes them feel loved? And am I willing to offer this to them? Maybe how I show love isn’t what they require so that they can FEEL loved by you.

For example, if I’m a foodie and they are a strict only meat-eater - right there, we might not work as a relationship
One of the massive ways I enjoy making memories doesn’t fit with them.
A relationship with them is only seeing someone twice a month; that won’t work for me.
Making them feel loved may require this type of intimacy, reading together, joining a club - am I willing to meet them there?
Intimacy what does that feel like and look like for both parties?
Texting?
Phone calls?

And this is, in essence, the art of dating.
It is profoundly knowing, loving, trusting, and honoring yourself.
You aren’t too much.

There isn’t anything wrong with you.
Your desires are yours to be expressed and met.
There isn’t something wrong with the gender you are trying to date.

It’s you and you alone.
And it’s only you who can free yourself to become liberated to feel completely in love—making dating fun. Enjoyable.
Give and give, so someone can feel loved by you, so it comes back to you.
Instead of getting lost in frustration.

Most importantly, what I’ve learned is the key to people who have decades of a fantastic relationship is “they never stopped dating”
Between all the dating questions I’ve gotten recently and my person experience this is why I’m inspired to offer a new three-month course with six calls called “How to Date.”

Each month we will cover a topic so that you begin to be a master in dating, attracting, and creating fairytale relationships.
We have two live calls per month starting June 14th, and they are recorded if you cannot attend live.
One call is content.
In the second call, we will have a live embodiment and implementation practice of what we learned with our group and cohort.
You get lifetime access to the content.
VIP option for 3 1:1 calls with me and 24/7 access to me.

Why I am doing this is because, for me, I’ve always been the woman love has always happened. It’s like the air I breathe. There is always an abundance of love in every area of my life. Dating is fluid, like water constantly flowing through my life. I have experienced heartbreak, but I haven’t let it define men for me or my future dating experience. It never made me bitter when I didn’t still believe in love and knew it was possible. I always think even through heartache, the best is yet to come.

I’m the woman all my girl and guy friends call when they have dating or breakup issues. Somehow, I magically seem to offer wisdom to navigate everything back into harmony. Now I want to impact more people besides my private clients and friends.

I am making this a three-month experience how to date.
I’m so thrilled for you to be the next person whose relationship becomes enjoyable again or you find your forever person.
Click here for enrollment options

I love you,
Colleen