Dating, How on Earth do we do “it” Right?

So, I recently ended a three-year on and off again relationship that was deep, intimate, and purposeful. It’s the twin flame energy. He was the father of the child I aborted. He was the love of my life. It’s the love you won’t ever have again, but you’ll always remember.

With this kind of ending, you need time to heal and process.
However, you also need a moment of moving on with your life, so you do not sit and dwell.

There is a dating app that I like a lot called Luxy. 
I download the app again.
I started swiping and connecting.

One of my first connections this time around on the app was an Italian man. 
AH, my heart melts for Italian men; you have no idea. 
We will call him Marco for the sake of this blog.

Marco is older than me by about 28 years. 
But from the moment we connected.
He called me and said the sweet words, “Bella dolce.”
My heart melted back to the months I lived in Sicily, Italy and I had my two Italian boyfriends on different ends of the island that knew about each other and treated me like a Queen.

I had a big paper due for my Ph.D. so I couldn’t meet up for a few days.
But every day we talked. 
We touched base.
It was an instant connection.
I turned my paper in.
We made plans for dinner.

Now instead of texting every day, we talked on the phone.
He’d call me just to say I’m thinking of you, but it wasn’t in a needy or fake way.
It was true.
He meant it, and I COULD FEEL the intention beyond the words.
Because I was thinking about him in the same way.

The day arrives.
He says I’ll be there from 6:30 to 6:45; as you know, Italians are always late, so the fact he gave a time frame was oh so sexy of meeting cultural differences. 
He arrives to pick me up in his Maserati — deep red leather seats…
Instantly we kiss on the lips.
The connection, chemistry, and intimacy are there.

We decide on a sushi place downtown.
I learned on our drive there that he makes handbags made from alligators, ostrich, lizard, and all types of exotic skins. 
What more could a woman want.
He had a store on Rodeo Drive but closed it during the pandemic.

He knew what to order on the menu, which as a successful woman, it’s so lovely to be on a date and not have to think.
That he had it taken care of. 
I could trust and surrender to his judgment to be fed the most fantastic meal.
While we’re at the restraint in-between course, we are full-blown making out.

He is kissing me, then says something in Italian. 
I said, “what you say?”
He responds, “UGH, it’s so just ewh in americano.”
I was laughing so hard I could cry.
I say, “just tell me.”
He said, “I said stick your tongue deeper down my throat.”
And yes, it sounds so weird, but it was so HOT.

Then he said, “what sentence do you want to learn in Italian?”
I said, “memory.”
He said, “that isn’t a sentence.”
I said, “yes, it is; the memory creates the story.”
He responded, “memorie.”

In my dating adventures, I keep finding these odd phrases more and more enjoyable.
When you are in passion, present in the moment whatever you say, or however it comes out always turns out to be hot and sexy.
The unscripted version of language running through you is way hotter than any video script. 
Because it is organic, at the moment, and you can FEEL THE DIVINITY of the intention beyond the words.

After this, we start making out the hardcore in the restaurant.
It was beautiful, intimate, a memory of genuine connection.
We paused making out and he looked me dead in the eyes and said, “tell me what you like about me.”
I roll my eyes up and to the left, he said, “no get back in your body, look me in the eyes when sharing from your heart.”
OH MY GOD my heart melted.
Never in my life did I have a man say get back into your body which is so sexy as a feminine design for a man to demand presence from you instead of escaping. As women, we spend a lot of our life escaping the present moment because we don’t want to do or be where we are but we are doing it because we think there is no other option.

As the night when on, he’s like, you now look fresh, relaxed, as if you just finished sex even though you haven’t.
He said you’ve gotten more beautiful as I’ve sat here at dinner with you tonight. 
UGH, just this man and his attention to detail.

We drive home.
Obviously, a second date was happening.
He said, “I’d like to have you over for dinner and cook for you.”

I said, “okay.”
It was two days away.
I was SOUL excited.

I went over there.
Wow, lobster, calamari, shrimp, pasta, with red sauce and champagne. 
I don’t cook or know how to cook.
So we did it together, and he taught me.
The way we’d touch each other when we were cooking.
The way he’d pause to kiss me.
The way he’d move together in the kitchen.
I was beginning to see why couples like to cook together. 
There is something so sexy about how the energy moves between two people when you create something together that you get to enjoy together.

He had bought all the ingredients.
He had the table set up.
The whole apartment was set with candles.

[iMPORTANT DISCLAIMER — before I went over there, I said I couldn’t spend the night I needed to be up for my Ph.D. He then confirmed before I went over there that I know you cannot stay the night tonight, but I want to wake up to you soon. This provided SOUL MUCH EMOTIONAL SECUIRTY].

We have dinner.
He says, “I love the way you eat.”
Wow, I’d never been told that before by a man. 
It just was divine.

Then we went outside had a cigar, and I massaged his feet.
We got lost in a conversation about life.
Love.
Both are entrepreneurs.
Italy.
Travel.
Just lost in the world of love talking about everything but nothing.
Connecting from the heart.
Feeling a sense of peace knowing that at that moment, you are loved, and they are loved.
You are seen, and they are seen.
You are safe, and they are safe.
You are held, and they are held.

Then we turned on some new music I recently found.
We danced.
Lost in each other’s eyes.
Tongues down each other’s throats.
Enjoying the present.

Then midnight hit.
I called my uber and left.

We planned to meet again.
I had a busy week with my Ph.D. 
Then it was strange I didn’t hear from him for a day or two. 
I figured, “weird.” 
Then I get a message, saying, “I am sorry I’ve been MIA for two days. I met up with my ex, and perhaps I will give it a try again. I didn’t deserve him to be dating two people at once.”
I responded, “Thanks so much for letting me know. Love is so precious. Savior every moment. Thanks for the memorie.”
It came full circle within a matter of 10 days.

I turned to God and said, “Thank you, this is how it is meant to be.”
To be honest, that is what we want in dating.
Is to give each other the hope, trust, and belief that love is alive.
That we give each other memories to believe that even if the person in front of you isn’t forever, they are a guide offering you a space to align towards greater love in your life journey.
And that is exactly what this date did.

I hope this serves. 
Let me know what you liked about the blog or any questions.
I love you,
Colleen